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Fighting Within

Foolin' myself,
poolin' my doubt,
duelin' about,

Perishing among unknown faces,
Staying within trodden corals,
This self contain scream,
Goes out to be seen.

Bitter yet sweet, the hour glass drains,
into the belly of greedy discontent,
hoping, too much hoping,
for dreams I had read, nothing quiet said.

Sleeping on schedule to a drum beat, I learn,
I have memberships to disavow.
Never trying to join, just pouting to a point,
ears bleed and leave.

Disappointed this won't be home,
a community to rest,
this desire to find,
the rainbow with lucky charms,
gold without leprechauns.

Those little devils, your friends,
taking you astray,
now here to live.

Take me back to the days,
knowing myself through and through,
I feel taken,
advantages none to me.

Now to press on,
a fool I'll be,
for gold unseen,
and the self in a dream.

Onward.

April Project Explanation: I have neglected my blog for the last 4 1/2 months, mostly due to my pursuit of good ski powder days and a business opportunity, both of which I didn't manage to catch enough of the tail to pull.  Now, it is time to recenter myself and catch up with my favorite thing to do, write poetry. I aim to write one piece per day for the month of April.
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Copy written by Shannon Shue. All Right Reserved. No portion of this material can be reprinted, recited or published with the expressed written consent of Shannon Shue.

Reteach A Thing, Its Loveliness

Too old to change,
Caring too much about
lost rhymes, holy times,
wretchedly blind.

I wait to cease upon this
hallow heart a moment
to breadth in it innocence
and expunge my sourness.

Soured.

Showered.

Coward.

Wash my flesh in your eyes,
Warm my thoughts through her
Mixed with utter dismay,
Claimed to be away
I swallow a piece of self.

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Copy written by Shannon Shue. All Right Reserved. No portion of this material can be reprinted or published with the expressed written consent of Shannon Shue.

Published on ChinaShuebox.

Gulping Down London

IMG_7041, originally uploaded by shuebox.

Every time I live in a new country, I need to experience the food.  Food organizes my thoughts around the culture and anchors me.  I did a short trip through Turkey last month with my mom and I ate my way through that country and finished the trip off with a proper bout with severe food poisoning.  What is life without some risk…

Not to dwell on Turkey, but back to the point, I want to give a list of my favorite English finds.  Personally, I have my reservations about English cuisine, so much so, that I feel it is an oxymoron to even say English and cuisine together.  I have not found the perfect Bangers and Mash, Fish and Chips or Curry dish, but I have found a few favorite brands available at any local supermarket:

Colman’s Mustard:
In America, this would be called spicy, but here it is just mustard.  This is frankly the best mustard I have ever had, full stop.  It is a simple yellow mustard but with a solid kick from the front of the palette to the rear.  Colman’s originates from Norwich and makes their mustard from just six simple ingredients.  They have been making mustard since 1814.

Croatia & Bosnia and Herzegovina: All In A Days Travel

IMG_7514, originally uploaded by shuebox.

After the rave reviews over Croatia’s Dalmatian Coast, I had to take advantage of low cost charter flights connecting Europe tighter than a well-weaved spider’s web.  I decide to fly to Croatia because the photos along the coast are simply unreal.  As an after thought, Aaliyah and I decide to visit Mostar and Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina, which is an amazing fortuitous side trip through a country still recovering from a war and findings its own sense of self.  This trip is a healthy mix of beautiful coastlines dotted with islands and soulful conflict resolution conversations among shelled buildings.

Sept 26:
We fly into, the second largest city in Croatia, Split, and go directly to Prisca guesthouse.  Ivanka, the owner, is right in the heart of old town, smokes two packs a day and doesn’t speak English.  We enjoy watching late night cable TV from all over the world because we don’t have a TV at home.

Sept 27:
We go around to see Split’s Old Town.  Split has a regular flow of cruise tourists, who typify the stereotypes of over weight, Mid-Westerns, who expect locals to “do it our way.”  In Split, we do the Lonely Planet’s recommended walking.  We stay long enough to catch our 5pm ferry to Korcula Island.  After arriving in Korcula, we are bombarded with ladies asking if we want a room, and since it is low season, we are out number two to one.  There are more ladies opening their house to backpackers then backpackers to fill them.

Chilvary Isn't Dead

IMG_6707, originally uploaded by shuebox.

When a trip starts with chauvinism and begins to escalate into the typical town by town travel diary, seeing just the highlights, unexpected kindness brings down my tourist wall.  In simple terms, this man gave me one of his fresh baked breads, after I asked about taking his photo.  It was a small gesture that I initally refused, but he insisted.

I could not stop thinking about this man's gesture for a week after.  I could not stop talking about him to my mom for 24 hours.  I have looked at this photo fondly and followed the lines on this face at least three times.

No, I am not obsessed.  Just touched.

Turkey Trip Tix

An Istanbul Constant, originally uploaded by shuebox.

Turkey is the ultimate pull between Eastern tradition and Western values, in so much as a country perched on the edge of Europe's kingdom and Asia's de-masking principles.  The same struggle within every Middle Eastern and rising Asian country is somehow furthered, even actualized in a land sliver called Istanbul.

Somehow I landed in Istanbul and expected to be met with China's East vs. West story, however I greatly mistook my host country and everything it hopes to represent in the world.  I did take the time to read up on all the favorite tourist destinations but did not get around to reading the "complete" 30-page history section of the Lonely Planet until a week after arriving.  I know, I could not even commit to 30 pages of preparatory work.

I am struck by the male-ness of this country and anyone who has traveled to a Middle Eastern, predominated by Islam, can immediately relate.  Men hang around the street to offer you tea, stare at tank-top wearing tourists, make small talk and shake every penny out of you.  To equate them to vultures wouldn't be a huge stretch.  Women, on the other hand, are rare seen and even more rarely heard from.

In traveling 17 days throughout Turkey, with my mom, who wants to see as much as possible in the shortest amount of time, the trip is group-tour packed.  It is not a group-tour all together, but each stop consists of a pre-arranged group tour.  Personally, not my cup of tea in succession.

So I thought I would share the tour, one grueling hot August day at a time:

Aug. 10:
Leave Vauxhall at 3:30am to take the Luton Airport shuttle from Victoria.  Arrive at Luton at 5am for our 6:10am EasyJet flight to Istanbul's Sabiha Gokcen Airport located on the Asian-side.  After taking the Kandikoy bound bus, then a Eminounu bound ferry across the Bosphorus, and then the Tram to Sultanahmet, my mom and I arrive to The Nobel Guesthouse, right next to The Blue Mosque, by 2pm.  We scarf down lunch at the guesthouse's Sofa Cafe, now gone alcohol free as a marketing strategy to be different from the neighboring bars and restaurants.  We walk around Sultanahmet to stretch our tired legs.

The Grand Tour (Fit for the Queen)

A little tour of my place in Vauxhall.  I may have gotten a bit carried away with all the talking, just talk amongst yourselves at those times.

From the ending phrase, I am not really that bitter about England, I just had a bad day when I finished up the film.

Drop me a rating through YouTube or post a comment on my blog.

Found!

Private Investigation: Found!, originally uploaded by shuebox.

After looking high and low, I found my British friend Catherine in the most unlikely of places, the internet.  I started to look on Facebook, the new and improved MySpace and leagues ahead of Friendster, which hangs on by a sliver of popularity.

As soon as I arrive to London, my flat mate and my girlfriend plan a housewarming party and sent the invitations via Facebook.  My flat mate, Jeff, tells me I should use the highly interactive cyber popularity contest program to receive an electronic invite.  Initially, I am not opposed to receiving an invitation via the web when it involves my flat mate, whom I see regularly and speak to daily, but I am not keen on signing up for yet another internet friend site.  Is MySpace and Friendtser not enough?

Global Cities in London

IMG_5311, originally uploaded by shuebox.

Just moved to the Big City, London, from the Big City, Los Angeles.  I'm still wide-eyed.

I arrive in London feeling like a tourist, except for a vague notion of the English language I share with locals--even a previous visit to the Queen's homeland--I feel I am in a fish bowl.  I am looking out of a glass ball, swimming in circles making tiny bubbles as I gawk at the large-contorted faces peering in, occasionally tapping on the glass, which send alarming waves.  Then I go back to swimming around in circles.

Celebrate Chinese Food Month

IMG_0061, originally uploaded by shuebox.

I haven't had the motivation to blog...as of late.  I haven't been in the mood, mainly because I have been so busy with being a full-blooded American.  Actually, trying to remember what it means to be a full blooded American.

Since being back, I hit the ground running, very typical of me, and pretty much haven't had time to look back.  After moving back from Kunming, China in November, there hasn't been a dull moment to reflect.